1. Everything you eat is savoured in garlic, onion and tomatoes.
2. You reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes and, of course, aluminium foils too.
3. You are always standing next to the four largest size suitcases at the airport.
4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party – and think it’s normal.
5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.
6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.
7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Shameem, Faheem, Naeem, Raheem, etc.)
8. All your children have nick names which sound nowhere close to their real names.
9. You take snacks anywhere it is mentioned ‘No Food Allowed’
10. You talk for one hour at the front door when leaving some one’s house.
11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
12. You keep anything
new in your house whether it’s a remote control, VCR, or new couch covered with polythene cover for months and months.
13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think but they won’t let you do certain things because of what the other ‘Uncles and Aunts’ will think.
14. You buy and display crockery which is never used as it is meant for a special occasion that would never happen.
15. You use vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
16. You use grocery bag to hold the garbage in it.
17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.
18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, variety of bowls and plastic utensils (which you got free with the purchase of other stuff)
19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes); you never buy from a take away shop.
20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker or both.
21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
22. You live with your parents even you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).
23. You don’t use measuring spoons or cups when cooking.
24. You never learned how to stand in a queue.
25. You can only travel if there are at least 5 persons to see you go off or receive you whether you are travelling by bus, train or plane.
26. You only make long distance calls after 10 pm
27. Your conversation is laced with constant references to God even while talking about the most mundane and insignificant matters.
28. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunt.
29. When your parents meet a stranger and talk for a few minutes you make another distant relative.
30. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.
31. Its embarrassing for you if you’re invited to a wedding inviting less than 500 people.
32. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping whether you are buying the potatoes or onion.
33. You don’t engage in dialogue. You don’t pay the slightest attention to what the other person is saying. You impatiently wait for them to stop speaking so you can blurt out your piece.
34. You have strong opinions on everything under the sun. But when it comes to decision making, you create issues to reach a crisis and panic set in before you decide to act.
35. If you have really enjoyed reading this mail – forward it to as many Pakistanis as possible.
THE AUTHOR IS PROUD TO BE A PAKISTANI